Colossians 3:18-4:1 Viv Blows a Raspberry

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

Viv Blows a Raspberry

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When my mother, Viv, was in her mid-twenties she became a Christian.  She immediately joined a Bible-study group in order to grow in her new-found faith and this passage was the topic of discussion.  When my mother read about wives submitting to their husbands she blew a raspberry.  “I am not submitting to him.”  However, the passage began to work on her and she saw that in submitting to my non-Christian father, she was submitting to Jesus.  One night, when the two of them had almost gone to bed, my father remarked that he could really do with a curry.  Seeing an opportunity to serve Jesus, my mother stayed quietly downstairs.  She cooked up a late-night curry and brought it up to her husband.  He could see that something had changed.

My mother was always my father’s equal.  However, the commands of Paul give men, women, and children different roles to play in the household.  If we are all equal, should’t our roles be indistinct or even the same?  Paul wrote his directions to a society which gave absolute power to the head of the family, or patrafamilia.  He could have members of his household killed and could often rule with a rod of iron.  Paul neither affirms or discredits the Roman way of life, but he does promote harmony in the home.  If his directives were followed a mutual love, respect and teamwork would break out in the home.  This is the primary concern.  The household was seen as the basic building block of society.  If the home lacked harmony, all of life would lack harmony.  So, the supremacy of Christ was first to be applied to the home.  If the members of the household focused on Jesus, their own agendas would be submitted to his.

There are many reasons people fight for power and control in the home.  Many times the wars are fought because of fear.  However, one of the great questions a member of a household can ask is, “How do I help remove fear?  How can I help to make the house a self place?”  One person in the house needs to take the first step toward selfless love, servant leadership and sacrifice.  So, the emphasis is not on who gets to rule and who gets to serve.  The emphasis is on whether the home is aligned with God and functions in a smooth way which shows God’s glory.

Prayer

In all of our roles in our households, help us to bring peace.  Let us love, submit, lead, and respect as you require of us.  May our homes shine as beacons in a dark world.

Questions

  1. What is the role of the man of the house?
  2. What is the role of the woman?
  3. Is a person’s role in the house dependent on them fulfilling their own role first?
  4. What is your role in the house or room that you share with others?
  5. How has your family been an example of peace to those in the neighbourhood?
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About Plymothian

I teach at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. My interests include education, biblical studies, and spiritual formation. I have been married to Kelli since 1998 and we have two children, Daryl and Amelia. For recreation I like to run, play soccer, play board games, read and travel.
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17 Responses to Colossians 3:18-4:1 Viv Blows a Raspberry

  1. Christina W. says:

    1. To be the head of the house and to love his wife
    2. To submit to her husband as fitting to the Lord
    3. No. We are called to fulfill our roles within the home even if the other members of the house are not yet fulfilling theirs. It is not dependent on others.
    4. In my home, I am still to honor my parents. In the room that I share with others, I am called to be a servant to my roommates.
    5. Hopefully my family has been an example to those in our neighborhood based on the way in which we get along and live in a way that is in line with God’s design for families/households.

  2. Maria T. says:

    1. What is the role of the man of the house? According to Colossians, a man’s role is to be a loving leader, loving his wife, not provoking his children, and treating his slaves justly and fairly.
    2. What is the role of the woman? A woman is called to submit to her husband as it is fitting to the Lord. I believe the caveat at the end means that whenever submitting to her husband would cause her to be disobedient to the Lord, she must not submit.
    3. Is a person’s role in the house dependent on them fulfilling their own role first? I think this question is asking if a person must wait for the others in the household to fulfill their roles before they can fulfill their own. In some instances, being in the proper role in the household is dependent on the others taking responsibility for their roles first. For example, sometimes a husband refuses to lead the household and is not often in the home. The wife, then, must become the leader of the household. However, she must still submit to her husband when he is present and making decisions. In that sense, the roles are not dependent on the others.
    4. What is your role in the house or room that you share with others? As for all believers, my role is to submit to those around me as is fitting in the Lord and to point them to the love of the Lord.
    5. How has your family been an example of peace to those in the neighbourhood? My family back home has not been an example of peace. Unfortunately, we were an example of the opposite. I think that now, perhaps, the ways that my siblings are always extremely polite and conscientious about others’ needs is probably an example of peace, and I am very thankful to the Lord if He is choosing to use them in that way.

  3. Maelynn says:

    1. To love his wife and not be harsh with her.
    2. To submit to her husband, as is fitting in the Lord.
    3. When performing their own role, an individual should be most concerned about keeping peace and unity in the household.
    4. According to these verses, it is to submit to my husband as is fitting in the Lord, seeking the peace and unity of my home.
    5. Well, we are at peace with each other and God, which brings about visible joy in our lives.

  4. Christa says:

    1. What is the role of the man of the house? To love and lead without harshness
    2. What is the role of the woman? To respect and submit as the bride of Christ does to Christ
    3. Is a person’s role in the house dependent on them fulfilling their own role first? I’m not sure I understand the question…
    4. What is your role in the house or room that you share with others? To love and care and encourage those around me by serving them with a thankful heart
    5. How has your family been an example of peace to those in the neighbourhood? My family is relatively peaceful and very loving family that I believe did show peace to the neighborhood by respecting each other

  5. The role of the man in the house is to lead the house with love, and not harshness. The role of the woman is to submit to the husband, as the Lord sees fit. When performing a role in the house, you should focus on your role and fulfill that role, even if the other members aren’t fulfilling theirs. My role in our house is to submit to Dom as He submits to the Lord for wisdom and guidance. Growing up, my family was always involving the neighbors and open to everyone.

  6. 1. To be the head of the house, loving their wives and not being harsh with them.
    2. The wife is to submit to her husband as is fitting in the Lord.
    3. If I understand the question correctly, I think that I should be concerned with fulfilling my own role in my household even if others are not conscious of their own roles or my fulfilling of my role.
    4. At home I am a daughter who is called to obey her parents in the Lord. In my dorm, I am a sister whose responsibility it is to care for my roommates, looking out for them and encouraging them in the Lord. Sacrifice is definitely involved whether at home or on campus, but that’s what love does.
    5. My family loves and serves each other and I sincerely hope that and the joy that comes from that is evident to those around us.

  7. Molly says:

    1. To be the head of the house and to love his wife.

    2.) To be obedient to her husband as she obeys the Lord.

    3. I think we are called to be obedient to the Lord in the roles and callings that have been placed on us.

    4. According to these verses to be obedient to my husband and submit to him

    5. My family growing up was not really been an example of peace. My husband and I have an open door policy and allow anyone to stay with us at any given time for any reason.

  8. 1. A man’s role is to be a leader, the head of the family, and to love their wives.
    2. A woman’s role is to be in submission to her husband.
    3. I don’t think so. I think as fallen humans, we will always be in need of improvement, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying to obey our calling in other areas.
    3. My role in my living space is to love others as Christ has loved me and consistently point them towards God.
    4. My family hasn’t really been an example of peace to those in my neighborhood.

  9. Emmy R says:

    1.) To lead and to love.
    2.) To submit to her husband out of love.
    3.) We should be concerned with our own roles, and not be distracted or dependent on the roles of others.
    4.) To encourage, love, and support one another.
    5.) My parents loved each other and us, which led us to serve and respect one another.

  10. 1. Love his wife like Christ loves the Church, and not to provoke his children to anger and discouragement.
    2. Submit to the husband as Christ submits to the Father.
    3. No-just like Viv, we can see that God calls us to love our spouse first and fulfill our own roles first and God will honor that.
    4. My role is to submit to my husband and serve my family.
    5. We have been kind to others and have shown them that even though we go through really hard times we continue to show Christ’s love towards one another.

  11. Michael McCardle says:

    What is the role of the man of the house?
    To lead the household
    What is the role of the woman?
    to submit to their husbands leadership
    Is a person’s role in the house dependent on them fulfilling their own role first?
    yes.
    What is your role in the house or room that you share with others?
    To serve my father and mother, to love my sister and to be a man of gentleness, peace and joy
    How has your family been an example of peace to those in the neighbourhood
    By they way we love our neighbors

  12. Nate Silvieus says:

    1. To lead and to love.
    2. Submit to their husbands as to the Lord.
    3. If this question is asking if a person should fulfill their role in the house even if everyone else is not, then yes. Even in difficult circumstances, being obedient to the Word of God is first an act of love toward him and he will use that person in the household to change the others.
    4. At Moody it is to encourage and point my brothers to Christ and to submit to the authorities over me like my RA, RS etc. However, also being one of the oldest guys on my floor, it is also important for me to lead the younger in ways of encouragement and love to bring unity among the men on my floor.
    5. I kind of live in the woods, so I don’t have a neighborhood. But they have always been a great example to the people in our church and desire to promote peace and love in the body, by first practicing that in their own home- and I am extremely blessed because of that.

  13. Kimberly W. says:

    1. Husbands are to love their wives and to lead their household. If they are fathers, they are to not provoke their children.
    2. The role of the woman is to submit to her husband.
    3. I am a little confused by this question. The roles God intended for a household work together in harmony; if one person is not fulfilling their role it makes it harder for others to fulfill their roles.
    4. As a daughter, I am to obey my parents. As a college student living with roommates, I am to love my roommates, obeying the second greatest commandment. 1 Corinthians 13 gives a picture of what my love should be like, although I fall short every day.
    5. My parents have been example of peace to those around us by the strong marriage they have (they will be celebrating 30 years next summer). As a family, we have been an example of peace with our close-knit relationships and the way my parents have loved and cared for my siblings and I.

  14. Andrew Moore says:

    1. The role of the husband is to take up a leadership position and to love his wife without harshness.
    2. The role of the wife is to respect her husband and submit to his authority.
    3. A husband or wife should be primarily concerned with how they are fulfilling their role and not refusing to fulfill their role if they believe that the other spouse is not fulfilling theirs.
    4. I can be be obedient and respectful to my parents when I am home, encouraging to my siblings and a servant to the other guys on my floor and my roommate.
    5. While perhaps the children beating each other with plastic wiffle ball bats was not the best example of peace, I think my parents have always displayed a peaceful relationship in the way they interacted with each other and with their children.

  15. Jung Kim says:

    1.What is the role of the man of the house? To be the spiritual leader and love their wife.
    2.What is the role of the woman? To obey and submit to her husband.
    3.Is a person’s role in the house dependent on them fulfilling their own role first? Yes, in some respect. I think it is important to respect one another and show unity in Christ.
    4.What is your role in the house or room that you share with others? My role in the house is to keep a positive, safe environment. I try to respect my roommates and try to keep the house clean and organized. I try to share the love of Christ by sharing what I learned from God that day.
    5.How has your family been an example of peace to those in the neighbourhood? My parents have been prayer warriors who desire a peaceful life for those that are around them, including my sisters and I.

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  16. Olyn says:

    1.What is the role of the man of the house?
    To lead and to love his wife as Christ loves the Church
    2.What is the role of the woman?
    To respect and lovingly submit to her husband
    3. Is a person’s role in the house dependent on them fulfilling their own role first?
    You cannot base whether or not you fulfill your role on whether or not they fulfill their role. So in a way, yes. Also, one person fulfilling their role will lead the other to fulfilling theirs.
    4.What is your role in the house or room that you share with others?
    I try to respect my roommate’s privacy while at the same time being somewhat involved in her life as a friend. I keep my part of the room relatively clean, don’t dirty up her side, and am quiet when she is sleeping, reading, etc. At the same time, I ask her how she is doing and talk and laugh with her.
    5. How has your family been an example of peace to those in the neighbourhood?
    My dad is a very honest person, always paying on time, and donating quietly to the school for kids who can’t afford to pay. He raised us 4 kids to be honest as well, thus contributing to the peace in the community.

  17. Megumi says:

    1.To love and lead
    2.To love and submit
    3. Each person is responsible to lovingly serve according to his or her role. The significance is not on the role or title, but in the service. It may be the role of the husband to be the head of the household, but if he is not lovingly serving his family in that way his title as such doesn’t mean much.
    4. My role at home is that of an obedient daughter and caring big sister.
    5. Friends of our family have noticed the respect and obedience my sisters and I continue to give our parents through our teenage years and into our young adulthood, the trust our parents put in us, and especially my dad’s selfless, sacrificial and gentle love for his “Queen” and his “princesses.”

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