Proverbs 25:16,17 A Needy Friend

If you find honey, eat just enough—
too much of it, and you will vomit.
17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—
too much of you, and they will hate you.

A Needy Friend

Codependency, or overdependency  is not good.  In such a relationship both people feel like they are getting something from the relationship.  One plays at being the parent and the other plays at being a child.  Ultimately, both people find too much security in one relationship which masks their deep insecurities.  Even the ‘adult’ in the codependent relationship needs to be needed.  This is why they allow an overdependent person to leech away their time and energy.  There is an appropriate amount of time to give to insecure friends, but some friends are looking for a saviour and lack the maturity to go to God directly.  We enable them to avoid growing up when we let them camp in our kitchen and tell us the same woes again and again.  Remember Jesus turned some people away by revelaing to them their lack of desire for radical change.

In the verses above, a godly person is secure enough in the LORD to visit friends in rotation rather than camp with one friend.  If you have one very intimate and exclusive relationship, even with your spouse, it might be time to ask why.

Questions

  1. With what is a friendship compared?
  2. How often do you think ancient Jewish people visited each other?
  3. How often is too often when visiting friends?
  4. When do you feel a friend overstays their welcome?
  5. How can increased security with God foster more healthy relationships?
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About Plymothian

I teach at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. My interests include education, biblical studies, and spiritual formation. I have been married to Kelli since 1998 and we have two children, Daryl and Amelia. For recreation I like to run, play soccer, play board games, read and travel.
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