Jesus was not tied to Mary’s apron strings.  In fact Jesus was so far from being tied to his parents at age 12 that Mary and Joseph lost him.  It is important that we do not read the intricacies of modern psychology into a culture that would not have understood it.  However, Jesus is obviously separating from his parents.  He is obedient and respectful of their position but he is his own person.

During early infancy we learn to attach to our parents.  If they meet our needs, we learn to trust them with our emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.  However, after the first couple of years children learn what is ‘mine’ and that they can say ‘no’, or I will do this ‘on my own’.  This is a threat to most parents.  In the text, Jesus’ independence is a threat to Mary: She seems somewhat exasperated.

However, Jesus is twelve.  He is one year away from Jewish adulthood.  He needs to define himself not by what his parents want, but by what his life is to be defined by.  His life is to be about his Father’s business, in his Father’s house.  He is obedient to his parents, but he knows his own identity.  Do you allow your parents to define you?  Do you control your children without allowing them the freedom to develop into independent adults?

Luke 2: 41-51

⁴¹Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. ⁴²When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. ⁴³After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. ⁴⁴Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. ⁴⁵When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. ⁴⁶After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. ⁴⁷Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. ⁴⁸When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”

 ⁴⁹“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” ⁵⁰But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

 ⁵¹Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. ⁵²And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

Questions

1. What brought Joseph’s family to Jerusalem?
2. How long was it before Jesus’ parents found him?
3. How did Jesus respond to Mary’s deep anxiety?
4. How would you have responded to Jesus reply to his mother?
5. How does parental control and a child’s independence develop?

Going Deeper

Observation

1. How old was Jesus during this trip?
2. What did Jesus do when his parents left Jerusalem?
3. With whom was Jesus talking?
4. What did those who heard Jesus think?
5. What was Mary’s final response to ‘all these things’?

Interpretation

1. At what age did Jewish boys become men?
2. Why did the whole family go when only the men were expected to go?
3. How could Mary and Joseph think that Jesus was with them?
4. Was Jesus placing himself under the Rabbis in the temple?
5. Why does the original language express extremely deep anxiety on the part of Jesus’ parents?

Application

1. From whom have the children you know learned the most?
2. How have the children that you know developed respectful independence?
3. If you were a parent how would you encourage your children to learn in the way that Jesus learned from the Rabbis?
4. Is church sufficient for children to learn a godly approach to faith and education?
5. Check out the writings of Dr. Henry Cloud  http://www.drcloud.com/ As a small group, the Skinner Small Group will be reading Changes That Heal during November.